Rafaella Gets a Haircut

One of the milestones for many kids is their first haircut. Or rather one of the milestones for kids' parents is their first haircut. True to most milestones, parents anxiously think about this decision as if a haircut will predetermine the rest of their hair life. Is this the right time to cut it? How short? Maybe we should wait? All the while the kids, well, the kids don't really care. 

For months, my mother and Nana were telling us that Rafa's hair needed a major trim. Mike and I weren't really all that concerned with the idea. In all honesty, she was growing a bit of a mullet and no matter how many times I combed her hair it would take on a life of its own but I kinda liked it especially her one beautiful little ringlet curl in the back. 

When we arrived home almost a week ago my mom started in again about the haircut, about how "this poor girl's hair was NEVER going to grow" because Cuban people are that dramatic. Never mom? I asked. Never, she confidently responded. Never. With a sad look in her eyes like I was dooming Rafa to a life of bad hair forever.

Although I was pretty sure that her hair would continue to grow with or without a haircut, I had already thought of cutting it once we got to the States since the mullet was beginning to take over more than I'd like to admit. So yesterday was the day. Wednesday, June 26, 2013. We took her to a proper kid barber shop with race car driver seats and lollipops upon completion of cut. Certificate of Baby's First Cut and all.

Although our darling Rafa looks so sweet with her new do, I can't help but miss her one beautiful little sweet ringlet curl in the back. Is that because I truly miss the curl or because it's another milestone checked off of her list indicating one more thing that will not be a first, one more sign that my little GiRafa is growing up? 

What do you think? 

Who is this B touching my hair?

 

Tada! All done.

Now let's take a drive to get some ice cream

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There's No Place Like Home

I understand why living abroad offers amazing perks to foreign hire teachers.

Because Dorothy was right...

"There's no place like home."

Possibly due to the hecticness of the last two weeks in our present moment Oz - specifically packing our apartment without yet having our next apartment - all I wanted to do was click my heels and be home. A home free of boxes and packing tape.

After packing suitcases for four people and an apartment for an impending move, after mobilizing a husband, two children under 2, and two dogs (one that probably needed a sedative since she began to bark on the plane's descent causing the pilot to turn on the cabin speaker and "Meow" to poke fun at the fools traveling with this bunch of misfits), after being peed on by 3 month old Santiago (more my fault than his), we landed in Kansas. Although in our case, Kansas is actually New Jersey. So we landed in New Jersey. Ahhh...

Our life in Dominican Republic offers perks we could never dream of here: a paid apartment, utilities stipend for our family of 4, a much more relaxed lifestyle where work is a far second to family, a full time nanny, an amazing maid, and time for me to write. I wouldn't trade what we have right now for anything. But nothing in life comes free. With that amazing life comes sacrifice.

The biggest and most obvious being our family and having to live far from them. When we arrived, we were greeted by my mom - no surprise there - and an unexpected appearance by Hermana (my nickname for her when we were younger meaning sister in Spanish) and my two nephews Leonardo and Michelangelo (actually their names are Derek and Jake but they came dressed as Ninja Turtles - so there's that.) In only the past 3 days, Rafaella and Santiago have been surrounded by cousins, my childhood best friend's family including her son, Alessandro, who was born 6 weeks before Rafa, family friends, all of their grandparents, and a great grandmother.  

These are hard people to leave.

And those are the obvious sacrifices. 

Being home has made me understand just how easy it is to settle your roots here and live here... and how difficult it is to live somewhere else. It is not for everyone. Unknown languages. Unfamiliar rules. Foreign roads. Different expectations. Sure living in a new place can be exciting and full of adventure. It can build a strong familial connection that the humdrum of everyday life in a familiar place can sometimes drown out. It is a learning experience every day whether you are hiking the mountains of Jarabacoa or going to the supermarket. But all that adaptation can be exhausting and I've noticed this more here, more this time, then ever before.

We arrived and I settled into my parents' home - my childhood home - immediately. Not only did I take my shoes off and walk in the grass or on the pavement like I haven't done since I was a kid but I took off Rafaella's as well - something I've never done in Santo Domingo. I have spent most of my awake hours in the last 96 outside enjoying the fresh air, the symphonic melody orchestrated by the dance of the leaves and breeze, and watching Rafaella play in clubhouses and drinking sprinkler whale water - another thing I'd never let her do in Santo Domingo lest I wanted to deal with a case of Amoebas. No thanks.

 

Leaving the house also hasn't been a monumental ordeal like it is in Santo Domingo. There leaving the house takes a lot of planning and thinking on my part. To be honest, I am not as independent there as I am here. I just don't feel I could pick up and go with the ease that I can here. After two years, my comfort level of driving around the city of Santo Domingo is still no match for the comfort that 31 years of driving any New Jersey road has... Turnpike included.

And then there's the small issue of, jeez, I don't know, say... language.
Yes I speak Spanish. Yes I speak it well and better than 100% of the other foreign hire teachers (with the exception of the other foreign hire's Spanish speaking Guatemalan wife). But make no mistake, I am an English speaker. It is my first language. My comfort food of idioma. The language I can manipulate and achieve the utmost sarcasm and the lanugage I can efficiently argue in. And isn't that really what makes you proficient in a language? Being able to tell a joke and argue in that tongue? I can't argue a price or gripe in Spanish with the same fervor I can in English and believe me - for me - that is totally frustrating.

There's the even smaller issues that we have learned in time. The issues that I realized one day made me an insider to a culture that I used to be an outsider of but that I would never have to worry about if I were still in New Jersey. The checking the gas pump to make sure the attendant started it at $ 0.00 so I know they aren't charging me more. The boys that should be at school but that are instead spraying water on my car to clean my windshield. The windshield I don't want washed but offer them 10 pesos (about a quarter) anyway because at least they're washing my windows and not robbing me at gunpoint. The beautiful apartments that don't pass security inspections because there isn't a second escape route because buildings are made of concrete so the possibility of a fire doesn't cross anyone's mind. The cool showers you take on hot days not because you want a cool shower but because you don't feel like waiting the 15 minutes for your water heater to heat up. The coconut guy that knows my address and rings my bell to see if I want fresh coconut water that day. Oh wait - that's one of the good issues! Scratch that one. (What other fun issues do you have my Dominican friends?)

Oh to live in a developing country!

It's why many places you will teach abroad in offer you the perks they do. Because if I am going to leave everything I know and everyone I love behind I need an incentive. Because it's not easy. Not always.

And to be clear, it's not that I don't love the everyday adventures that come attached to living abroad. It's a part of what makes it awesome! And it's certainly not that I don't care for Santo Domingo. Like an old boyfriend, I cared for you for many reasons but that doesn't mean we were meant for each other. Santo Domingo has given me my family. My family was born there. (Literally. Santiago has a Dominican passport) So yes, I will always love Santo Domingo for what it has given me but if I'm honest, I've never really accepted it as home. And maybe it's better that I learn now that many places in our abroad experience will never be home. Though maybe the unfamiliar places are what make me appreciate the familiar. Maybe there's always only one home.

That's why there's no place like it.

Pictures originally posted on made in spanglish blog

What's On Tap This Month - JUNE

Homemade Baby Quilts

I have a hard time throwing things out. I could thank my Cuban ancestors' need to save, restore and regenerate uses for things for this. When Husband and I discovered that Baby 2 was going to be a boy I became weepy eyed over all of the little girl clothes that I would never again sport on another little niña. Enter Baby Clothes Quilt. I collected the clothes that had a special memory for us and waited for Nana's (my Cuban aunt) arrival. She's a master seamstress and while the original idea came from Pinterest, like all great things, the idea was borrowed and tweaked. The quilt is made of three layers: the baby clothes, an inner soft towel layer for fluff, and a bottom layer of a lovely fabric we bought. Once the "simple" - and I say simple very loosely since it was HOURS of work for dear Nana -  once the "simple" quilt was finished we placed other details from those same outfits (flowers, bows, a heart from a pair of booty shorts, tulle from a tutu, etc.) and layered them on top. Rafaella's first bathing suit is now a pocket on her quilt. Yellow tulle from one of her dresses dances at the bottom of the quilt like a cloth ballerina. I know the quilt was supposed to be for Rafa, but I think I might keep it for me and hug myself in memories of her first year.

Summer (in NJ)

School's out. Graduation parties. Walks to the park to play on the swings. The familiar sound of the neighborhood ice cream truck. Oh boy... the sweet sounds of summer! Even more sweet is our upcoming arrival back to our homeland, The Dirty (what ONLY we natives can fondly call our beautiful NJ). We are excited to see our family and friends and introduce them to the newest Kaufman Legra (Santiago) and show off the brilliant cuteness that is Rafaella. We also can't wait to begin showing our kiddos what growing up for us was like. It's an amazing thing to come full circle and show your kids what made you happy as at their age. Lazy days at the lake (not to mention excellent food), parks with baby friendly swings, strolls down our beloved Westfield with an adult stop at Rockin' Joe's or Starbucks, chasing down the ice cream truck, running through sprinklers, hanging out with friends in their backyard with the BBQ grilling, playing with cousins, chasing fireflies, and the perk of short drives to NYC to spend the day at Central Park, any of the many museums, eating lots of pizza, or any of the other millions of things to do in Manhattan. Of course, no visit to New Jersey would be complete without a visit to the Shore. Even in its devastation, every NJ native can fall in love with the Jersey Shore. The summer is the perfect time to show Rafa and Santiago that no matter where we travel [their] your roots will always be planted in The Garden State.

Watt's Up Highlighter

Since having two children I have become more of a makeup user (and snob) than ever before in my life. Maybe it's because I have to hide the tired eyes of sleepless nights or because in a day where a lot of time is devoted to those little people this time is all about me (although "mane-up" as Rafa calls it, is her favorite time of day now so I guess I actually share even this). This year when I went home for Christmas I made a long pit stop at Sephora and picked up my free gift... a highlighter. I hadn't the slightest idea what a highlighter was that didn't come in the form of a bright yellow marker so of course I googled it. Turns out that that dewy, fresh faced look that I had been admiring on J.Lo for years comes in this little silver tube. And with the amount of time that I actually have to do "mane-up" with a 20 month old sitting beside me, it's a good thing it takes no time at all to apply. (And its perfect for summer - no other "mane-up" needed.)

Sephora's Watt's Up Highlighter

Apparently... Boy Belts
I have struggled for years to find belts that fit me. As a very proud Hispanic woman, these hips that are good for birthing are apparently not good for belts. Apparently, a size 12 belt doesn't exist unless I want to wear it under my boobs to create an A-line shape. A few weeks ago, I saw some cute boy belts at Jumbo, our version of Target here in Dominican Republic, and a light bulb lit up. Boy belts? Yes. Boy belts. I tried one on and voilá! Thank you boy belts for fitting around these hips that apparently don't lie.

These belts found on ebay.com

You're So Quotable

Recitethis.com is my new favorite way to make myself sound totally brilliant and be creative with alley cat quickness.  Any time you want to quote yourself - because let's face it what we say on a daily basis should be quoted for all of history to remember - you can simply type in your pearls of wisdom and choose a template for those words to be spotlighted. Anything you say can sound brilliant when it's written on a fancy template. 

see? doesn't this just make what I say sound so smart?

And the Jukebox Plays: Gone, Gone, Gone

Music is such a big part of my life and my writing. "And the Jukebox Plays" is a fun little label to highlight some of the music that moves me, that inspires me - emotionally or physically. I hope you find some music that does the same for you. 

(Gone, Gone, Gone by Philip Phillips. I already was obsessed with his other song 

"Home" and now I have another obsession.)

There are so many good moments that come with living abroad. 

One of my favorite days of our lives in Dominican Republic is C4 (Corpus Christy Colmado Crawl). We were introduced to C4 last year by Jennifer Norman (J.No), a brilliantly tech savvy beautiful creature that had been putting on this event for the teachers of CMS for the past 5 years. She is our fearless leader throughout the C4 season. 

* * * * *

Details of the Event: 

• Put together a team of 8-12 people complete with team name and team costumes. (This year we chose the double entendre team name of Los Presidentes which is the national beer here - that we spray painted onto our shirts and we printed and pasted U.S. President faces on cardboard to create masks - gosh we're clever.)
• Arrive at C4 location at 3:45 for your list of phrases
• Walk around the Colonial Zone with your team (with Presidente beers purchased from your nearest colmado, hence the name Colmado Crawl) shooting pictures that might match a phrase from list.

For example:

"I'll Follow, You Lead"

Thinking "inside" the box

"I'm Willing, He's Able"

"How YOU doin" - thank you Joey Tribiani

This is just an extra we took since Beckett looks just like

Dominican Republic's Juan Pablo Duarte!

And what SHOULD HAVE BEEN 

the winning photo...

I am a "pot" of a hole

ANYONE who is willing to get into a pot hole for a picture deserves first place, but I digress...

* * * * * 

• Reconvene at 6:00 for drinks and food.
• Each team uploads their 3 best pictures.
• A winner is decided (did I mention that we were robbed of first place this year???)
• And then....

Watch the End of the Year Video. 

For the last two years I have helped J.No with the EOY video. And it's A LOT of work. It's a 45 minute to hour movie that captivates a whole audience of rowdy adults through its entirety with no problem. How, you ask, can an iMovie of pictures and video captivate grown ass people for that long??

Here it is:

Imagine watching the past 365 days of your life chronicled in a way you'd never be able to remember it and then set to music. It can singlehandedly make you realize how beautiful life could be and how beautiful your life really is, beauty here defined as the people that surround your life daily, the people that make you happy to be alive, the people that become your family whether or not they were born to you. 

There are so many good moments that come with living abroad. 

But people don't tell you about the hard part. The hardest part. These people that enrich your life everyday, that become as much a part of your life as your parents and your children eventually... leave. These are the people that visit you in the hospital when you have your baby, who make you meals when you are sick, who throw you baby showers, who are overwhelmed with happiness when you get engaged (or married), whose children are your children's best friends. Essentially, this life style sets you up for heartbreak. You fall in love with people who you will have to say goodbye to. 

The last section of J.No's EOY video always highlights the people that are leaving. For me, it's usually a tearjerker and this year's was no different. 

Although... 

This year's EOY video was almost perfect. Almost.

See what J.No didn't add to her Goodbye section is that this is her last year too... she has stepped down from the position as our fearless leader from the EOY video. 

She sent an email that made my once happy little heart drop: 

"I want to make this my last EoY Video. I want to pass it on. I want someone else to do this next year. Do it people! Step up! Be a leader! It really is fun!"

Gasp. Our crawl will no longer be led by our leader, J.No. I get it. I understand her being done. (I'm not happy about it, but I understand.) It's a lot of work and sometimes in life we do things for longer than we want to (or should) because people depend on us and we don't want to let them down.

But don't worry, J.No. You have never let us down. In fact, you have been a yearly reminder of how much good people friends will do for you just to make you smile for a bit. 

And as for the video, well, you left it in good hands (I think).

                        I'll take it from here...

To our fearless leader in the crawl, from all of us whose lives have been celebrated because of you THANK YOU, chief. "We'll love you long after your Gone, Gone, Gone."

         

Our Fearless Crawl Leader from Jennifer Legra on Vimeo.