Contributing Post: Tastes like Autumn

For your eating pleasure, check out my recipe for Pumpkin Apple Pecan Waffles featured on Cropped Stories. 

And the Jukebox Plays: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Music is such a big part of my life and my writing. "And the Jukebox Plays" is a fun little label to highlight some of the music that moves me, that inspires me - emotionally or physically. I hope you find some music that does the same for you. 

1. So I have decided that I am officially changing Rafa's name to Tiny Teenager because of this:

And this: 

Red is her signature  color

2. The past few weeks has been one party after another. I'm not complaining. (I love me a good party.) But I am tired. So, I decided to be ironic and make this fun, get up and dance, instaparty song my Jukebox pick this Friday since I plan on not partying at all this weekend. In fact, I plan on sitting on the couch a lot. But the song is a great way to get your party started this weekend. 
3. Enjoy, Rafaella's "Baby Gaga" dance compilation video.
and...
4. Happy Friday!

What's On Tap This Month - SEPTEMBER

Live Your Best Life (LYBL) Move over YOLO, there's a new acronym in town... LYBL (pronunciation: lie-ble? I'll work on that). Every month, a special delivery comes in the 

mail... my O Magazine. Unfortunately for me, it gets mailed to my mom's New Jersey address and I live in the Dominican Republic. So a few times a year, either when my mom comes to visit or I go back home, I hit the mother load of several months worth of my favorite magazine. One of my favorite features in the magazine is the Live Your Best Life page which is always a beautiful photograph with an inspirational quote. As a writer and (very) amateur photographer, what about that would I not love? Beautiful photograph, strong words. Yes, please. And although the The Live Your Best Life page is just an introduction to a section which includes inspiring features about women who turned their passions into lifestyles or women who faced challenges and met them head on for some reason, I always look forward to the photograph and quote. So much so that I started collecting them, framing them, and making them a part of my home. Right now, they sit above our bed on our DIY headboard but will be moved to be a more central focus point of our home. Thanks, O for the constant inspiration (and inexpensive home decor!)

My favorite: "I like good strong words that mean something."

Munchkin Stay Put suction bowls

oh. my. sweet. Lord. These bowls couldn't have come in handier at a more needed time. We've got a foodie daughter - if she were able to write, I would suggest she write "The Yum Yum Toddler Blog" but alas she is only two - and with a foodie daughter comes a child that likes to feed herself. And we all know that a two year old who feeds herself can often turn into a cleaning nightmare but for the high chair and up her nose... don't ask. But these suction cup bowls have been an fan-f*ing-tastic way to   keeping yogurt out of her facial orifices. They suction cup and stay put onto her high chair tray so that when she is eating, her bowl is doing nothing but staying put. She still manages to make a bit of a mess - she is two after all - but luckily the Yum Yum Toddler would rather have the food in her mouth and not on the tray.

  

weekend family breakfeasts - a way to find creativity?

 Rafa and I have breakfast together every morning but since Husband works, the only time we have family breakfasts are on the weekends, so for our breakfeast, I've been trying to get creative and try new things. A few weeks back, I concocted a Pumpkin Apple Pecan Waffles recipe... just what the autumn doctor ordered. I threw in some blue cheese and ham scrambled eggs in the recent weeks for good measure. This past weekend I made my first attempt at Guava Brie Cheese Pancakes... oh heck YUM. And today - not a weekend but a day off - I attempted and slammed dunk swishhhed some Strawberry Ricotta pancakes... sooooooo good. What I love best about this is that because I've thrown together ingredients based off of what I had in the refrigerator - ingredients that I normally wouldn't have used - it's opened my mind to the possibilities of what else I could throw together. And those possibilities are endless. I'll post recipes soon, but for now start brainstorming. What other types of waffles or pancakes or eggs can I whip up?

 for the blogger in you

This month, things with this little blog have been doing well. Exciting. With doing well, I have also felt pressure to step up my game a little bit. Stressful. I love revamping my blog and finding new arrangements and gadgets to use but I don't want to spend days and days doing so, so when I find cool ways to revamp my blog without spending half the day to do so, I get supes excited. Enter Grab My Button, a button code generator that is fast and easy and designs a cute button to add to your blog. (Check out my button designed on Grab My Button to the right.) The second fun tool I discovered was TubeChop. For a recent post, I needed a short clip of an already existing youtube video. I found TubeChop to help. You simply put in the youtube's URL and enter the start time and end time that you want the video to be and boom! Video chopped.

Mod Podge
In the birth of Pinterest to my life, I have noticed that oh so many things were being made, decorated, and beautiful with Mod Podge. This summer, when we were in New Jersey, I decided that I would give Mod Podge a shot and bought some at an arts & crafts store. I am still in the beginning stages of really learning to play with it but what I've found so far is that it's easy breezy and totally versatile. Although they have different types of MP (glittery, glossy, outdoor, etc.), I started with a basic matte. This is my test run project, my what can Mod Podge do project so I used a picture that I was otherwise going to get rid of because it had printed with wide white margins. I cut the white margins off and used the MP to adhere the picture to an inexpensive store bought canvas. I let it dry overnight and then took colorful baker's string and adhered that on with MP. I am not quite finished with this test run project but have already discovered what the Mod Podge hype is all about. And I'm excited.

i want to see you be Brave
I am wildly obsessed with this song right now. Obsessed because it is catchy and loudly singable and because my daughter wants to watch the video on repeat. And I'm happy about that because in the last few weeks I have been thinking about how there are so many things I want for my daughter, but the thing I am starting to want the most is for her to be strong. Titanium strong. Brave strong. Because being brave is sometimes hard and scary and I want her to be courageous and to say things that sometimes need to be said or stand up for kids that might sometimes need standing up for. I want her to be brave and confident if maybe she is the kid who is a "victim of somebody's lack of love" and to know that she is stronger than words or someone else's opinion of her.  (I feel a post coming soon...)

How Missing "It" isn't Always a Bad Thing

I've written plenty about how the only downside to living abroad is missing my family. There are other inconveniences like turning the hot water on in order to shower with warm water or getting used to not always finding what you want at the grocery store but these are inconveniences, things that I can easily accept and get over. But family isn't an inconvenience, it's a complete downside. I can't get over missing them. 

Sometimes when I talk to my mother and she's on her way back from a family event she says Oh Jenni. Everyone was asking about you and how you're doing. We missed you. And I think Aw maaan. I missed that. Or I see pictures of my best friend's son who is 6 weeks older than Rafa, playing at the park or eating cake at his birthday party that I, of course, missed because I'm an ocean away and I think Aw maaan. I missed that too. 

Missing things becomes part of the life we have chosen. 

But - and there's always a but - because we don't live near our people - our commitments, our obligations, our responsibilities - become somewhat nonexistent. And that is freeing.

I spoke to a good friend once who said that every weekend she is tied down and booked up with so many affairs that she hardly ever feels like she's home. Let me be clear that I am not saying that I love not being at family get togethers or Thanksgiving Dinner or my nephew's birthday parties or a cousin's wedding. I'm just saying that it is nice not to have to be. Of course, it makes me sad sometimes. Of course I want to be there for our family and friends. But sometimes the birthdays, the communions, the baby showers, the bridal showers, the engagement dinners and rehearsal dinners and sunday dinners, and family reunions, and endless plans become so overwhelming that I couldn't find time to slow down, to just be. I would work through the week and when I arrived at my weekend with four different parties that I had to attend, I spent my weekend dragging myself around from one event to the other, driving from one party to the next like a Mexican party bus. I often used to reach Sundays, more exhausted than after a work week. It was one of those I need a vacation from my vacation cases. 

But here life is slower because, unfortunately, we have to miss stuff. Our weekends are free. We have no plans until we have plans. We can't go to every party or event. We can't celebrate every celebration. And is that really such a bad thing? Is it so bad to sometimes just not go? I've made myself dizzy trying to "complacer" (this is one of those words that I like better in spanish - it means to try and please) with every invitation I've received that sometimes I was dreading parties instead of looking forward to them. 

Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a party?

That's not to say there aren't any invitations here, there just aren't as many and they aren't as far since most of our friends live near school which makes the furthest drive to anyone's house about 7 minutes - with traffic.

There are still things I wish I didn't miss like my nephew and Godson on his first day of school with his first day of school outfit getting on his first day of school bus {heart melt}. I wish I could fly back to kiss Jakey, my other nephew, on his Valentine's Day birthday. I wish I didn't always miss my dad's birthday and my sister's birthday and my mother's birthday. I wish I didn't have to miss my grandmother in the hospital recently. I would have liked to visit her.

But being an ocean away, I have no choice but to miss things. And while I do wish that I didn't have to miss it all,  I have to say, that sometimes missing "it" isn't always a bad thing. It gives me time to just be. To enjoy the mundane, the routine, the stay at home. It gives me a chance to get off the crazy Mexican bus and just breathe. 

Beep, Beep. Beep, Beep... tired!

The Problems:

For the past few weeks, my head has felt like a super soaked sponge that just can't absorb any more water. We moved into a new apartment this year so we've been organizing, decorating, making notes of things that need fixing, fixing. In the blogging world, things are going well; spreading out, making contacts, hopefully contributing posts to other blogs. It feels good after two years of consistent writing and posting to be getting a little more recognition. Awesome. Rafaella's 2nd birthday party is coming up and I've been designing, printing, and rolling invites with the best of them. Thanksgiving is a bit away but planning for the long weekend is now. 

The Mental Issues:

I wish I could make it easier on myself and send out Evites or store bought invites or not take so many pictures, or leave things slightly unorganized but I can't. I am a perfectionist. And an organizing looney. Trust me, it's harder on me than it is on anyone else. And here's the thing, everything happening right now is great stuff - new apartment, blogging small successes, planning for an amazing long beach weekend, throwing my baby's 2nd birthday party - all great, but between all of that great stuff is my mind's capacity that is holding on for dear life. The other night I sent myself to bed at 8:30 just so I wouldn't have to think about anything. Of course once I got to bed I had to get back up to sneak into Santiago's room just to make sure he was still breathing because yes I am still that crazy mother. And when I got in there he was asleep on his belly and I wanted to roll him over but like every sleep deprived mother, I didn't want to wake him up, so... I called my mom. She gave me the pep talk I needed, the He'll be fine pep talk. 

The List:

So to recap, I've been writing, mothering, fixing up, trying to find time for volleyball and catching up on the monthly photo books for my second child, Santiago. His sister got monthly photo books so by God, he will get monthly photo books! (Hi Mommy Guilt - you old bitch.) So that led me to decide that obviously, this was a good time to organize my photos, videos, and files on my computer. Oh, and do I have lots of photos, videos, and files. So many that my computer is quickly running out of room. So I've dedicated this week to organizing that. Backing up pictures on "My Passport" and Shutterfly is easy but takes time. The videos are another story. I have so many little home videos of Rafa's first year and all of that raw footage is on my computer and until I make something out of it, I can't erase it. So, add that to the list of organizing this week. 

(Excelsior) The Silver Lining:

When I finish working for the day, I feel a little more organized and my computer feels a little less heavy. And the real silver lining is that I get to watch something I've created over and over again that makes me happy like to the soul happy. It may take a lot of time (hours to be exact) but when it's done, this 3 minute video is totes worth it. 

Here's a glimpse into one of my projects that I could officially check off my To Do List for this week:

☑ Make "Drive My Car" video with Rafa's car footage

Silence

I woke up this morning to my baby boy's full-on happy baby smile for the mommy that appears every morning by his crib. Me. (Ok. It might be the milk that’s getting the happy baby smile.) For a little less than a week, my little’n has been sleeping sans swaddle, and despite his moves like Jagger, has been sleeping most of the night. 

I also woke up to my little girl’s beaming, happy, smiley face.

Excited to see me, her word - repetitive, “Mami. Mami. Mami. Maaaaami. Mamiiiiiii.”
“Yes, Rafa.” I answer.  

Silence.
She just wanted to know I’d answer.

Today, I am grateful for these moments because I remember that on this day 12 years ago, the only thing I could be grateful for was my life and that I still had it. I wasn’t sure about anything that day. Would I make it out of here? Would I ever see my sister again? Would I live to be a mother? Those are pretty deep questions for a senior in college living in the greatest city in the world. And I had no answers because I didn’t know. I just. didn’t. know.

And if I was honest, for years after that day, I didn’t have answers. It was a time in my life where I knew I wanted a future but couldn’t quite see one - because nothing was clear anymore. That day took away the absolute assurance of a future and replaced it with the possibility of one. It was the day I realized that I was not invisible and that nothing was promised or guaranteed for me.

Today, I’m grateful because I have never - and hopefully, will never - have to be in the shoes my mother filled that day when she watched a black smoke cloud of ash cloak and swallow the city where her daughter lived and breathed. She lived her own moments of uncertainty about her daughter’s future that day.

Today, I’m grateful because sleeping without swaddles and repetitive Mami calls are my only problems. And what small problems they are for me today, in comparison to the sadness that others will relive every year on September 11. While I’m putting my babies to sleep tonight, some parents are reliving that memory in only their minds.

That is not lost on me. Not today.

Today I am grateful to my children since it was the idea of them, the wishes for them, that kept me hoping for a future and kept me moving towards one because even when I wasn’t certain about the future, I was certain about them.

This will never be a day for me that slips by on the calendar without stopping to reflect on how much was taken, how much was lost, and how among ashes, hope can still grow and futures are still born.

A House Divided

This weekend as I was cruising down the supermarket aisle with Husband, I began having a spasm attack. No need to worry; it wasn't painful. It was more of a mental crackdown that went something like this:

Husband: Jen, do you want to get the eggs and bacon or the chicken and avocado?
Me: Huh?
Husband: Eggs or chicken? Which do you want to get?
Me (tossing my head down to the cart being totally over the top dramatic): neither. I don't want to get neither.
Husband: ok, Jen. You get the eggs and bacon (➵ let's just say he's used to this kind of mental crackdown.)

At this point, I should give you the details that led to this event. It started an hour earlier when I received this text:

You should come to the Belinda Carlsle concert with me.

And then these are how the next few texts followed:

So I have to say that I kinda wanted to go. Before I was Married Mommy Jen, I was Young Party Jen. Actually, I was Young Party Jen for longer than I have been Married Mommy Jen. I tel lyou this so that you could understand why sometimes I still act a bit selfish. So the Jen, formally known as Young Party wanted to go. I could feel that feeling of excitement when you don't know what the night holds for you creeping in and Young Party Jen wanted to say Yes.

But Married Mommy Jen had been decorating, organizing, and doing dishes all day and had just spent the last hour looking for an area rug and was now food shopping for tonight's dinner. That Jen, just wanted to watch a movie and drink a glass of wine. Ok. Two glasses of wine.

Looking for an easy out, I asked the deal breaking question:

What time does it start? 

This was my chance. She would say around 7:00 and since our kids are still so young it takes both parents to finagle bed time I would have to say Oh man. That's the kids' bed time and so I couldn't be out of the house til at least 7:45, so I'm afraid I will have to decline. My decision would be made. But she responded:

9:00ish

Oof. Didn't. See. That. Coming.

It would be super possible to get out of the house by 9:00. Now, it would be up to me, just me to make the decision. No easy deal breaker escape.

I was torn.

Husband: Jen, do you want to get the eggs and bacon or the chicken and avocado?
Me: Huh?
Husband: Eggs or chicken? Which do you want to get?

What was happening here wasn't the deep considering of the chicken or the egg. What was happening here is that I was so consumed by both Jens that I couldn't even understand what he was asking me.

See, I don't think I really wanted to say yes. I think I wanted to say no but the old Jen - Young Party Jen - the one I've been for way longer than Married Mommy Jen - was remembering a time when she was free to make any decision she wanted without thinking about bath time and bed time and baby's crying in the middle of the night and waking up early the next morning no matter how late you stayed out. For that Jen, life was easy. Say yes. Have fun. Come home. Sleep late. 

And even though I think I wanted to say no, there was something about saying no that was making me anxious. In even thinking about saying no I felt like I was spiraling out of control, like I was losing myself; losing the girl that used to say yes and that used to be down for any adventure. Because I never thought I wouldn't be that girl - the one that said yes to adventures. The funny thing is, it's not like I haven't said no to plenty of things but for whatever reason, on this evening, this no was giving me a mental crackdown of epic proportions. Hence, adult tantrum:

Me (tossing my head down to the cart being totally over the top dramatic): neither. I don't want to get either one.
Husband: ok, Jen. You get the eggs and bacon (➵ let's just say he's used to this kind of mental crackdown.)

When we were at the checkout counter I looked at Husband and as quickly as I could purged, "I-want-to-stay-home-and-watch-a-movie-with-you." All one word.

So that's why you've been acting like a crackpot? Husband laughed.

I tried to explain to him the complexity of my dualing ban-Jens. How they were tugging at me from both sides with atomic force; one wanted me to be Young Party at a concert and the other wanted me to be Married Mommy with a movie. I tried to explain this at the checkout counter. I'm sure the cashier was grateful that she didn't understand English.

Husband wisdomed "A house divided cannot stand."

Then I got a message from Single Fun Friend that read this:

What do I look like, a young, party girl that scalps tickets????

Thank you Single Fun Friend for the easy deal breaker escape... 

House no longer divided.

I Dub Do. Truth.

I talk a ton about how hard it is to be a parent. It is. It totally is. It's a lot like getting punched in the throat and kicked in the nuts and waking up the next day to get kicked in the throat and punched in the nuts.

Truth.

Daily, I have to find patience where normally patience wouldn't exist. Like when my daughter decides mid climb on the second of three flights of stairs that she does not want to go up the stairs... or down the stairs. In fact, she just wants to stand on this stair while my arms begin to shake from the grocery bags that are hanging on for dear life.

If, when I was in my 20s, Person Anyone would have told me that someday, a short moody person was going to throw me mega-attitude, hit me with a plastic cow, and laugh while she looked right at me whenever she knew she was doing something that I didn't like and I was going to do nothing about it, I would have fought Person Anyone in the parking lot just for saying such a thing, but alas, that is exactly what happens when you have kids. Naughty behavior that would appall even Santa. Attitude so fiery that the devil himself don't wanna come 'round. And mood swings... say what?! You've never seen mood swings 'til you've seen them from a toddler... or someone with a bi-polar disorder. But you were just fine a moment ago!

This is why I talk a ton about how hard it is to be a parent. It is. It tooooootally is.

But if you are reading this right now and don't have kids and are asking yourselves why anyone would submit themselves to such humbling days and sleepless nights and snotty noses and kids that bitch slap you - literally - and get away with it, I should share with you these words:

I dub do.

Plain and simple. I dub do.

I dub do are the words that Rafaella whispers to me every night before I leave her in her crib for the evening. After the same nightly routine: bath, bottle, book - I pick her up, turn off the light, and I walk over to her crib where she herself is so exhausted from her day that she gently pushes me, motioning to her crib, letting me know she's good. I carry her like I would a baby - across my chest - for only a split moment and give her some quick fire Tommy Gun kisses and whisper in her ear, "I love you." Sometimes she whispers them back right then. Sometimes she doesn't. As I move around the room to collect her damp towel, fresh with the lavender scent of her baby bath, and her bottle, I feel her eyes watching me. She knows that I am leaving soon. I walk to her door and quietly turn the knob - which is silly that I still think I need to be quiet when I leave her room. She hasn't fought sleep for over a year and a half. But it is ingrained in me from her infant days, so I quietly turn the knob and open the door.

And then, as the dim lights of the hallway peek into her room and all she could see is the outline of mommy's body, she softly mutters through her pacifier, "I dub do."

Heart. Melt. Worth it. All of it. 

"I love you, Rafa." I remind her before the door closes for the night. And like that, the day's throat punches and nut kicking and bitch slaps are gone.

Truth.

And Santiago's ridiculous cuteness doesn't hurt...

WARNING: Too Much Cuteness

8½ Tips on How to Not Lose Your Mommy Mind in THIS Moment

Lately, there have been many full moons, it seems. It seems this way because the children have been losing their ever loving minds and mutating into werewolf type creatures that were put on this earth to terrify me about my immediate future and what it holds for me.

Santiago has been crying at the exact moment he is put down. Immediately. Sometimes, he starts at the moment we are anticipating putting him down like he knows it's coming. So we pick him up because we think we have placed him on a bed of nails but to our surprise there are no nails and as soon as we have picked him back up his crying has ceased. Miraculous. 

I mean if this isn't the face of trouble...

Rafaella, by nature is a beast, so her werewolf metamorphosis isn't too far-fetched. She's the kind of kid that falls off the bed and hits her head and then stands up, shakes her head, and skips off. She's a beastly sleeper and an even beastlier eater. I know, I know. Most parents would love a kid that eats this well but a good eater is one thing; a child that will scream her face off for your ham and blue cheese scrambled eggs when she still has her own because she wants hers and yours too... well that's a different beast all together.

The kiddies leave us stunned some times. Husband and I. Sometimes we look at each other like Did you put them up to this? Because this is a joke, right? But alas, this is no joke. This is the typical day of being a parent of two children under the age of two. 

So without further ado, I bring you 8½ tips on how to not lose your mommy mind in this moment.

1. Buy a good set of headphones and listen (loudly) to Good Life by OneRepublic (or other song of choice). Let me explain, when I was a teenager I would put on my headphones and listen to my Walkman and imagine a music video in my head. Later in life, I would put on my headphones and listen to my mp3 player and strut... yes kind of like John Travolta in Staying Alive - ok... exactly like that. Point is, music can get you out of a moment by helping you to imagine a new one. So when you're kids are spitting their food at you or violently wailing about a battery dead iPod or hanging from the proverbial rafters, plug in those headphones and listen to a song that will make the crazy chaos seem like a music video. Everything set to music always looks better and what's the harm in One Republic reminding you that life is good:

"what's there to complain about? When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over. When everything is out, you gotta take it in. Oh this has gotta be the good life..."  

2. Contain, contain, contain! Keep them in one place. Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed because Santiago is crying in his jump-a-roo and Rafa is jumping off her changing table onto her bed and falling an inch away from the edge, plummeting her to the concrete floor (thank you boy cousins, by the way, for introducing this new past-time) I contain. I take everyone into one room and close the door so no one could leave. It's like that scene in A Bronx Tale when Chazz Palminteri gives the biker gang a chance to leave and when they give him lip he locks the door and says, "Now yous can't leave." It's like that but without the busting heads part.

3. Bust heads.  Your own that is. When Rafaella was a baby she was incredibly hard to put down for a nap. We would walk her back and forth, sing to her, hum like an airplane for her, sit on the corner of the bed and bounce her, hover over her crib vibrating her to Sleepyland and then she'd peacefully sleep for 15 minutes. One day, normally patience of a saint Husband admitted to being so frustrated with her that he smacked himself in the face to stop him from doing anything crazy. I curled my lips inward to stop myself from laughing since that is not what an understanding wife does. I'm not suggesting you go all Husband and smack yourself in the face but some times we all need a smack out of it. Maybe that means stepping into another room and closing the door... only for a moment, ladies. Or maybe that means screaming into a pillow. Whatever works to smack you back to your calm place... 

4.  Lose it. Have you ever shown your kid what they look like when they are scrying (screaming + crying = scrying) in your face? Why not try it? Scry in their face and see how quickly they look at you like What the...? Or in the middle of a tantrum, throw down and dance hard... to imaginary music or sing along if you prefer. Your kid will stop and wonder what you are doing long enough to channel their energy elsewhere. At the very least, you will have channeled your energy elsewhere.

5. Take turns. Monday evenings is my writing workshop night with a fellow writer. And nothing screams creative and inspired more than screaming, moody kids. Oh wait. That's not right. There is nothing that screams creative and inspired less than screaming, moody kids. Mondays happen to be Husband's basketball night with the guys so he could use the extra aggression. So when the kiddos are in an exceptionally screaming, moody mood on Mondays, Husband is kind enough to contain, contain, contain them... in a different room. 

6. What's that saying, "A glass a day keeps the doctor away..." I notice that sometimes I am a better, calmer parent when doing something I really like. Take, oh I don't know, having a glass of wine for example. Sometimes when the kids are having a moment and mommy needs her own moment, I pour myself a glass of wine or an ice cold Presidente Light and I am instantly in a calmer place. Let's be honest, how do you really think all of those 50's housewives kept it together?

What? I didn't come up with this?

7. Remember - and this is a hard one - that what they see is what they will eventually do. I remember last year Rafa realized she could climb. She would climb on top of the coffee table and I would place her on the floor. She climbed the table again. I picked her up and back down to the floor. Again she climbed. Again I placed her on the floor. I tried to remain calm but after her 63rd climb (maybe that's a little exaggerated) I lost my mind and very angrily and loudly screamed. "STOP IT! Stooooop it!!" So of course she looked at me and yelled back, "TOP IT! Tooooop it!!" She didn't remember my previous patience, all she remembered was my screaming. Damn it! And so I realized that what she sees is what she will learn and then it will be what she does. So do whatever you can - leave the room, sip a glass of wine, dance to invisible music - to keep calm and carry on.

Me and my mini

8. Play the laughing game. When I was in college my friend, Eddie would always want to play the laughing game whenever we went to a bar. It went like this: one of you starts just by laughing. And then your friends are supposed to just start laughing. There was no joke. There was never a joke. You just laugh and eventually it turns into real laughing. It was weird. And whenever he brought up playing it, we would always pretend we didn't hear him, but you know what, it never didn't work. By the end we were always really laughing and laughing hard. So maybe you could try this when you're kids are driving you nutballs. Just start laughing. And maybe, while you're at it, you could remember a time they weren't making you nutballs. 

Yes. Like this moment.

8½. If all else fails, put a paper bag over your head and tell the kids that Mommy has left the building. (cited from "Self-Respect" an essay by Joan Didion, "It was once suggested to me that as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag." And Momastery.)

So there's always that...

Using tips 2, 6, and 8

I Accept

How exciting!

I've had so many moments in life when things come back around full circle. You could say I'm a big believer in that sort of thing (I could teach a class in Things Happen for a Reason 101.) I believe this to be one of those moments when someone from my past comes back to become a part of my life in a new way.

Megan and I became instant friends when we briefly worked together at Highland Park Middle School. She was the awesome, eclectic, nose-pierced art teacher and I was a bit less awesome than that. We began to hang out (which for teachers means serious happy hours and griping about kids). She introduced me to Apples to Apples. A friendship was born. And then we realized that through a six degrees of Kevin Bacon kind of way, we had other friends in common which would further jell our budding friendship.

I moved on to continue in my teacher training and we remained friends mostly through social media. Then I moved to Santo Domingo. Then came kids. She had one. I had one. I had another. She had another. About a year ago, she started following my blog and I started following hers The Patchwork Paisley. Fast forward. She was nominated by a fellow blogger for a Liebster Award and in turn nominated me for one.

You don't know what a Liebster Award is? It's ok. I didn't know either but who doesn't love being nominated for something? So I did some research and found out that a Liebster is an award for promising newbie bloggers with less than 200 followers. Basically "a great way to connect with other bloggers and spread the word about newer blogs."

I like to be nominated for things.
I am a new blogger with less than 200 followers.
I'd like to spread the word about my blog.
I love awards.

What is there not to like about this situation?

The rules (for my nominees):
1. You must link back to the person that nominated you.
2. You must answer the 11 questions given to you by your nominator.
3. You must pick 11 bloggers, each under 200 subsribers, to be nominated for the award.
4. You must come up with 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
5. You must go to their blogs and notify your nominees.

* Both Megan's questions that I will be answering and the questions that I am asking my nominees to answer are posted below along with links to my nominees' blogs. 

Ok, so I decided to switch the order and post my nominees first and my questions next before answering Megan's questions that way I am not tempted to steal her questions which I am sure are totally great!

And the nominees are:
(Although I think you are all so FAB that you should participate, you are not required to. I apologize in advance if some of you super fancy bloggers have more than 200 followers - sometimes it is hard to tell exact follower numbers and sometimes I just think you're that awesome that I still wanted to nominate you anyway. )

Made in Spanglish

Perfectly Day by Day

MiaDan Designs

Rumita

Daniel, Kesa, Talvie & Montie
Bunny & Dolly

Color Him Crazy: The Dating Memoirs of a New Jersey Hairdresser  

Mummy VS. Daddy
Petite Ramblings
Then I Laughed
girlwifemom

Questions for my nominees:

1. How would you describe your style?

2. Is there anyone or anything that you have blind faith in?                             

3. What sound do you love? 

4. What movie, book, or song best tells your life story?

5. An anonymous benefactor bestows upon you an insanely large amount of money with two conditions: 1. You must pack up and move from your current location. 2. You must use the money and be awesome. Where do you go and how do you use the money awesome-ly?

6. Apples to Apples round: Which one of the following nouns would you pick for the adjective card?

     Adjective card: perfect

     Nouns:    a beach sunset      your first kiss      a glass of wine      your favorite book

7. Like Woody Allen's movie Midnight in Paris, I always imagined that I would have loved to live in Paris in the 1920's alongside Hemingway and Fitzgerald whose wife, Zelda would of course be my bestie. I would have a love/hate relationship with Gertrude Stein, be Picasso's muse and hobnob with other writers and artists of the time while drunkingly dancing to Cole Porter's music into the wee hours of the night. Then I would sink back into my cozy, chic Parisian apartment and write my great novel. Which era or time would you relive if you could?      

8. What one word best describes your blog?

9. What is your "go to" curse word?

10. What is the title of your autobiography?

11. Patrick Dempsey: totally geek or totally chic

 

Here are the questions I had to answer (which of course are awesome, eclectic, nose-pierced art teacher-esque amazing):

Here are 11 questions for my nominees...

1. If there was a movie made based on your life, who woud play you and why?

Some combination of someone quirky like Zooey Deschanel or Cameron Diaz (although she'd totally have to dye her hair for the role - Brunette 4-eva!) combined with someone like Michelle Rodriguez who is a total bad ass. Yessss.

2. What was the last thing you Googled?

Sara Bareilles' Brave video

3. What is one of your guilty pleasures?

Wine? no. The Kardashians? nope. Doughnuts? yum. This one was a hard one to answer and I think that's because I don't really like guilt so I try to avoid it at all costs. When I think about guilty pleasures, I imagine myself hiding in a closet somewhere eating doughnuts and watching the Kardashians while I guzzled a bottle of delicious red wine - you know something you feel bad about doing so you hide it from people. But I have found I am not much good at hiding things and that I find complete pleasure in my pleasures, so I might say I have no pleasure that I feel guilty about enjoying. Hence, drink the whole bottle.

4. What is something you know now that you wish you knew "then?"

That being an adult is more than being able to drive a car and buy your own liquor. That love comes when it's ready and not a moment sooner. That singing at Carnegie Hall would have been way more memorable than Memorial Day Weekend senior year. And that my mom was right about most of it. 

5. What do you consider to be one of your greatest accomplishments?

Getting through airport security with two dogs, two babies, and no bruises. Haha. No. Although that should receive some type of reward. Besides my four kids (including the two that were rescued) and taking time out of my day to make sure I write, I would consider one of my greatest accomplishments to be the King Team. My first year of teaching, they paired me with another strong, amazing, inspiring teacher and gave us the broken, the beaten, the battered. They were the tough kids that no one else knew how to handle. We loved them with an iron fist and never gave up on them and by the end of the year, they were the class to be. They were chosen to represent our school on invitational field trips to New York City and won the end of the year Spirit Week competition. They were so proud of themselves, a feeling I am not sure some of them had ever known. Often you hear students remember teachers fondly, teachers that made a difference. For me, the King Team was my teacher. They taught me that any student can turn it around, that every student needs someone to believe in them and that will fight for them and not give up on them. I am glad I learned that my first year of teaching with my first class. They were one of my greatest accomplishments. 

6. What is one thing not many people know about you?

That I have a cusp birthday (Capricorn/Aquarius) and that I'm terribly afraid of failing. At anything. 

7. If you could wave a magic wand and change one thing about your life, would you? What would it be? 

I had this whole great answer about how cliché it sounds to not want to change anything because the life that I am living at this moment is exactly the life I imagined and then I remembered that when I was a senior in high school, I decided to skip singing at Carnegie Hall to go down the shore Memorial Day Weekend. Yep. Magic wand that. Magic wand that for sure! 

8. What is your favorite Disney movie?

And the world will know that technically my favorite Disney movie is Newsies. But The Little Mermaid is my favorite cartoon Disney movie. 

9. What is something you've never done, but woud like to try?

I have a whole list of things that I've never done but would like to try. But the one that seems to pop up at this moment is to ride on a firetruck.. don't ask.

10. Where is your favorite pace to be? 

My favorite pace is slow and steady but I have a feeling I was being asked my favorite place, so... my favorite place to be is New York City during Christmas.

11. What is your favorite blog post you've written?

Oh maaaan. Blog posts are like babies aren't they? Something created in a place where once there was nothing. I love them all equally but I guess there is always one you like more, right <-- just kidding, kids! Umm.. my favorite blog post might be this one or this one  or this one. I told you I couldn't choose one.