Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Legra's Law - *10* - Pain in the Head

Set Scene: Beautiful Friday night in the King's borough of Brooklyn. Two girls are walking home. They have been drinking since 7:00 pm... it is now 3 am. Jen is on a phone call.

To respect their privacy their names have been changed. So for "privacy sake" we'll name our characters "Jen" and "Emily".

Jen and Emily are walking each other home, using one another as a crutch for balance. They almost reach their destination of 16th and Prospect when Emily spots something. Her eyes widened as if she has found El Dorado. Could it be? Yes. It is. 16 freshly taken down and desperately lacking paint windowpanes from someone else's house just sitting against a tree... waiting for the taking.

Realizing the worth of these windowpanes, Emily snatches two up, "Four of these will look great in my apartment," and carries them over her head.

"But you only got two," Jen points out with her phone call on hold, quickly realizing that she was already calculated into Emily’s plan. She will be carrying the other two. Like a good friend she picks her share up, one under each arm, and continues her cell phone conversation for added difficulty.

As the girls carry on the walk, Emily starts picking up speed, walking faster and faster. Jen, noticing Emily's great speed and knowing the danger that Emily is to herself on a normal day, begins to yell down the street for her.

"Can you hold on," she asks the person on the line and without waiting for an answer yells, "EEMMIIILLYY! Get back here. Stop walking so fast." Emily does not respond.

“Emily! Why are you walking so fast? Come back!” Again - no answer.

Soon Emily is so far ahead that Jen could only see that idea of her, the outline of her shadow in the dark. A moment later, there’s a CrAsh!*!#.

"Damn it! I gotta go!” Jen rushed off the phone, “I just heard glass breaking and I can't see Emily." Jen throws her cell phone in her purse, secures the windowpanes under her arms and books it down the street. She's running like Carl Lewis. Passing looks from Sinatra's strangers in the night who are wondering why she is running with two desperately lacking in paint windowpanes at 3 am. A thought crossed her mind to leave the panes behind, but she knew she couldn't as these were something that her dear friend Emily so adored. Passing brownstones and avenues, never once losing sight of the windowpanes, she ran her hardest to reach Emily who might be in serious trouble. It's a good thing that Jen works out...on occasion.

Running, hurdling, Jen finally reaches Emily who is covered in broken glass, but luckily, no scratches, "Are you ok?!?!"

Emily, with quite the confused, wide eyed look that comes after a happy hour(s), shrugs her shoulders and sputters, "I dropped one over my head."

"What?" Jen asks.

"One fell on my head. And it broke," she paused. Then she began catching speed again, "I gotta go get another one. I need four."

"Wait, what? NO way! Stop walking. You're not going anywhere, you Lunatic, " Jen demanded. But persistent Emily wanted the windowpanes and thus there was no stopping the bulldozer. She trecked on.

So Jen knew this called for serious action. She threatened, "I'll drop these. I swear it." She held her ration of windowpanes over her head and like a brainwashed robot, Emily stopped dead in her tracks.

This gave Jen time to catch up, "First, we will drop these off," she calmly explained, "and then I'm going with you. Otherwise, I’ll drop these… I swear it."Emily knew Jen long enough to know that she did not make empty threats.

The girls got to Emily's apartment and left the three panes; then headed back down the street to the windowpane tree. After inspecting each one, Emily decides on one, takes it, and, you guessed it, puts it over her head!

"Give me that f-ing window pane, you a**hole!" Jen exclaims, "HERE! You can carry my purse and I will carry the window." Emily tried to put up a fight for a moment but then gave in and let Jen carry her pane.

End scene.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you're friends could be the biggest pains in the ass or they may just need you to carry their pain. But loving them anyway is the best part!

Please notice the WINDOWPANES in the background.

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