Monday, May 21, 2012

Buena Moments by Guest Bartenders: ALL IN DUE TIME

Off the Menu: Buena Moments by Guest Bartenders is a series of guest submissions serving up their own good life moments through their own personal story, in hopes of showing how much beauty each of Our Buena Vidas holds. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s post is by Guest Bartender, LauraTo email her, click here.

Sometimes a girl just has to get away.  And what better trip than to a wine enthusiast’s Holy Grail, Napa Valley?  An escape from responsibilities and an opportunity to partake in a few of the things we ladies like best: wine, wine and more wine. ;-)  Conveniently enough, one of my girls had a trip for work on the west coast and decided to recruit some friends to join her at the tail end of her trip, where we would then take a drive to Napa. I was single for the first time in about 10 years, and feeling a bit lost in life... this sounded like the PERFECT idea!  It was a chance to connect with some lovely ladies, whom I am blessed to call friends, and most importantly to connect with the most important lady... myself!

A wine toast at the airport was our way of saying goodbye to the hustle & bustle of New York City, and hello to the relaxing, easygoing West Coast.  One specific day stands out in my mind; not just on this trip but also in my life.  It was a simply glorious day... one of those days that you later label "one of the best days in my life!"  The sun was dazzling, there was a slight breeze, enough to be comfortable with or without a sweater... whatever your preference. Me? I like to always have a sweater handy: start with and lose once the red wine heat creeps in. (ha!).  We had a chauffeur that drove us to various wineries, where we tasted countless wine, sampled amazing cheese, ate yummy crackers with fruity jams and fresh fruit. We had wonderful, grown up women conversations about life and I was HAPPY. I felt amazing.  And for drinking a lot of wine, I was only a little drunk - it was perfect. 

 I could go further into detail with regards to which wineries we visited, where we dined, but for me, it wasn’t about that physical place.  It was my first girls trip in years after coming off of what I thought was a failed relationship.  We had spent the last few months going back and forth post break up, and I was finally struggling with the idea that the relationship was over. It was your typical "too good to leave, too bad to stay deals." Good for many reasons. We were really good together, a team. And we balanced each other!  Bad because we fought hard at times. We weren't moving forward and that was a hard thing for me to overcome.  I felt I wasn't good enough.  I often questioned myself and thought about what I would have to do for this person to love me enough to take the next step.  Overall, I felt low.   

But the morning of Napa I woke up bright eyed and ready; excited, just like the days as a little girl when I just couldn't wait to get to the roller coasters of Great Adventure.  How ironic to be remembering these times since I had recently felt like my life had been on a roller coaster.  
But this trip provided me with some major insight.  It gave me the best gift: time with some wonderful friends who helped me see my self worth.  I decided that if I wanted certain things in life, it was up to me to change them.  My gal pal said, "you have to just rip the band aid off quickly.  It will hurt!!  But you will soon be on the road to recovery!"  And just like that, for some strange reason, I was able to "rip the band aid off" and decided that, starting that day, things would be different.  I will have a positive outlook on my future, and eventually, when the right time comes, God will bless me with what I have always looked forward to: a family of my own.  Because I was a good woman.  I am a good woman.  And anyone would be lucky to have me!  It was a feeling I will never forget.  A feeling of freedom, hope, assurance, confidence, calmness, faith, optimism, light...      

Fast forward two years, we rekindled our romance, had the wonderful experience of becoming parents to the most beautiful little boy whom we absolutely adore, and although still not married (something I am still not okay with), we're talking about it.  And I know it will happen... soon enough.  Sometimes I do get thrown off the roller coaster of positivity... I am human after all, but a little communication goes far, and I always get back on track.  As long as I remember what my mother always said, a saying that used to pierce my ears like nails on a chalkboard, “All in due time.” I try to keep in mind that good things come to those who wait.  

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