Tuesday, February 4, 2014

No Title: An Ode to a Time

I had a rough start with blogging. I had started a blog in 2009 but was totally confused about how to do anything. I quickly forgot about it. It wasn't until I moved abroad and had our first baby that I vowed - to my mother - to write and capture our moments, our life, so that my mother could be up-to-date on everything we are doing. Eventually, I merged the two blogs but my 5th post as an actual blogger was this one.

It's funny because it is short. So short. I don't normally do short. I normally have too much lots to say. See every post after this post and you'll see that this is not a lie. But this one is short.
Hmmm... Could it be that I had just had a baby 12 days before I wrote/posted this and was still trying to keep my head above water. I remember Husband telling me to rest. My mom telling me to sleep when our daughter slept. But I was coming off of 9 months of exhaustion and pregnancy brain - which is a totally REAL thing - and I was ready to get back to me. Back to the woman that could think straight and have intellectual conversations and remember the word for that thing you use to write stuff down with (pencil).

So I started a blog. I knew nothing really about what I was doing just that I was going to do it. And I was going to do it now. It nearly killed me then. 

But it saved my life.

Motherhood is not easy. Especially the first time around. Especially when you leave everything you know behind and have your baby in a foreign country - even if that country is a beachy paradise.

The truth is I loved those first few days of being a mother and was stone cold terrified of them. I couldn't remember which boob I had fed her from last and at what time I had eaten breakfast. Wait? Did I eat breakfast today? What's today?

So you ask, Expat Blog Challenge 

In hindsight, what do you think about my frame of mind? 
I don't know. I can't remember. I didn't even remember to write a title for that post. A title! The most basic of writing foundations - the title - and I skipped it. Maybe I forgot it. Maybe that's why it was also short. Because my brain couldn't function for more than 4 sentences without a shutdown of governmental proportions. Maybe that day I was only thinking about mamoncillos - that yummy little fruit thing they sell here on the street for $1 - and babies that sleep like Frogger. The next day it was probably showering and getting dressed...a victory for all mothers new. The day before... what day was it yesterday? Wait, what were we talking about? Yeah. it's like that.
And you ask what I think about my style of writing... then? 
Oh gracious. I was running on little sleep and on a pendulum of emotion. So I'll plead the fifth on my opinion of my writing back then if that's ok. Let's just say I managed to get my teeth brushed those days.

Ok. ok. Most days I managed to get my teeth brushed.

Fine. Some. Some days.

Thanks to In an Opal Hearted Country for the February Expat Blog Challenge opportunity.


  1. Major accomplishment to start a blog with a newborn! I remember those first days as the "yoga clothes" days because I just wore yoga clothes - I did not know when it was time to change into my pajamas, so I just wore them all the time and changed them when I got a shower (every two or three days, I'm sure). So to blog ... I'd say, major win. Titles are overrated!

  2. the "yoga clothes days"... hahaha. that would be a great blog title.

  3. This is a perfect description of those first few days of motherhood! I love it! And I like that you have it to look back on- it's a real thing. And you can't hardly remember what was going through your mind except, "What should I do now?"

  4. This was my absolute favorite line, "Because my brain couldn't function for more than 4 sentences without a shutdown of governmental proportions." You summed up your state of mind perfectly in such a witty way. Love it!


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