Stereotypical Family Personas in my Abroad Life

Quick Link: 13 Expat Family Personas

What is a family?

When we leave our blood families behind - for whatever reasons - we grow nervous that we can never rebuild what we had. Families are really a group of people bonded by a life they share and while the actual people could never be replaced, the stereotypical personas can be. Everyone can identify with the strange uncle or the boozy - cause we all got one. 

Our expat community is no different. We are not connected by blood, but make no mistake, this very large connected group of people is a family – drama, laughter and everything in between - with each family member contributing their own persona. Click here to read the 13 expat family personas.

I'm Back, Bitches

After 3 months (the longest stretch I have been home to NJ since moving) of living the gypsy life, which Husband and I have come to know as our summers home, I have finally returned to our abroad home in Santo Domingo... and it feels goooooood. Usually after 6-8 weeks in the summer, there is an enveloping sadness when I leave for my island life but there was something about an extra 4 weeks in the Garden State that moved me from sad to set. I don't know if it was the month without Husband or just the natural desire to rest my head down on my own pillow but, either way, I was ready to get back.

There is plenty I won't miss when I leave this rock at the beginning of every summer. But there's also so much I can't wait to return to...

Dios le bendiga
Husband and I joked when our daughter was born that she would think her name was Dios-le-bendiga instead of Rafaella because everywhere we went Dominicans were God-blessing-her. A trip to the supermarket included 17 Dios-le-bendigas, 3 avocados, and one boxed milk. As a prego, I got plenty of blessings too and as a normal person I get them as a less aggressive cat call. It has come to be part of the vocabulary I associate with life here. When I go to NJ, no one blesses my kids or me. Actually, very few people could care about my kids when I'm in the States which wouldn't bother me except for the fact that, here, they are rockstars everywhere they go. I figure if it's good for my self-esteem, it's gotta be good for theirs too.

Hair
Hair. Long beautiful hair. Lots of ladies I know on this rock find that the humid island air is on constant attack to their hair. I, in fact, have the complete opposite problem. My hair likes this weather and though sometimes I could probably benefit from brushing my hair, generally, it looks fine enough. Stateside, I wake up some mornings feeling like I should Chewbacca gargle-cry since his hair days, at worst, are better kept than mine. The other day, my mother, the woman who gave birth to me full of slime and blood looked at me and said, "You're hair looks ugly." I almost chew-bacca-ed her head off. The truth is, I have become lazy doing my hair on this island. First, it is just too hot to care and secondly, why would I bother when I could go to the salon and get a manicure, pedicure, and blowout for $25.

Salons
While we're on it... the salon. Sure, one might have to let go of massage pedicture chairs (although I'd argue that I have yet to find one pedicure chair back home with all of the buttons in tact) but no one- and I mean - no one can wash and blow dry your hair like a Dominican lady. To begin with, the hair wash lasts about 10 minutes and is itself a transformative experience. Then the blow out is so intense that my neck gets a work out simultaneously so I get the added bonus of beautiful neck muscles. And the finished result, besides looking perfect, lasts me almost a week and costs less than two lattes at Starbucks. #score.

Mangos
You have never truly had a mango unless you've had one in a place like this. While mango season is technically between May-August, the mango I ate for breakfast this morning was a cross between candy and orgasmic. It was freaking perfection and reason enough to come and visit. The other fruit is crazy good too but there is a reason Husband bought me my own container of just mango from the fruit guy.

My place
Summers are beautiful for many things but getting work done is not one of them. This little desk here in the library of this school is my space. Nothing fancy. Nothing glamorous but it is where my soul is at peace and I write like the Dickens...

Colmado
If you've read Drinking the Whole Bottle before, you'll know I talk a lot about the colmado. And while, yes, I love the colmado because it is where my buddies and I drink beers, I adore the colmado for what is represents more than for what they sell me in a 40 oz. frozen, glass bottle. There is a freedom, a laid back life that comes with this country and no where is it better executed than at these corner bodegas. No worries. No stress. No reason to rush. People are friendly, ready to offer you a smile or a Presidente - because either one makes any moment better. But mostly, it is a place to meet, to socialize, to stay connected, to laugh, to laugh louder, to sit elbow to elbow with people that make your life better. God, I love this place.

My bithces
Walking into Carol Morgan this morning, on my way to see Husband, I ran into a friend. Well, I ran into many friends because everyone here is so darn welcoming, but I ran into a particular friend who from down the hall opened her arms wide and said, "Finally. Now we're complete." It struck me in the gut: I am a part of a family here; a different kind of family than the ones I leave behind in NJ, but a family just the same. A family that leaves and changes and grows every year. A family that is built by proximity but held together by intimacy. A family that I love.

It's good to be back, bitches.

Chewbacca - Alejandro Slocker

Birthday Party, Disney Style

Parents know that birthday parties are always more work than you originally plan. I always have the intention of keeping it *simple* but unless simple means gala-style, I don't do simple - one of those unavoidable truths I'm going to have to accept in my life. Worse even, a truth Husband will have to accept too.

Normally for me, throwing a birthday party is hard work, not so much because of the actual party but because I'm looking for decorations in a country where finding everyday things (like bananas) is sometimes hard to find so finding specialty items? Let's just say I start planning her October birthday in August and have been known to hole punch my own confetti. But this year, as luck would have it, our good friend (and one of Rafa's Godfathers) is getting married in September which meant that the kids and I stayed in NJ an month extra. I took the chance to not only celebrate her birthday party with our family and friends that never get to celebrate with us but I also got to throw a birthday party in the land of ease, where everything is accessible and easy to find and if it's not at Target, it's on Amazon. God, I love the U.S. sometimes!

Since we arrived here this summer, she has watched My Little Mermaid everyday (yes, I know she calls it My Little Mermaid). She's been giving me checkups as per Doc McStuffins, wears necklaces to mirror Sofia the First's amulet, dances to "Let It Go" like she's on So You Think You Could Dance, and treasure hunts with Jake and his Neverland Pirates. So...Disney was Captain Obvio theme and though the guest list was short - the festivities were big!

(I gathered many ideas via Pinterest and came up with the rest. Feel free to check out my Disney Birthday Party Pinterest page.)

This is my absolute favorite part of birthday parties!!!  Guests walked into the entryway and grabbed a Mickey Adventure bag. The bag had a few small toys already but would be used for the game prizes they would be winning and for the piñata candy!

From here they opened the front door to Arendelle:

...and the backyard tent with more balloons and the Princess piñata. 

It wouldn't be a Cuban thrown party without lechon (roast pork) and bocaditos (yummy Cuban-style finger sandwiches) so those were provided my Mom Extraordinaire. As for the rest, the typical snacks were made kinda fabulous by festive Disney signs.

The first game we played was Ariel's Under the Sea Search. I filled a baby pool with balloons and about an inch or two of water, dropped in a Nemo figurine and then covered the whole thing with a net. The kids then put on a blindfold and had to search for the fish through the balloons and water. This was a fun one to watch although my Princess chose to not use the blindfold… cheater. Everyone got a Disney coloring book for playing! (Shout out dollar store - where most decorations and prizes were bought.) 

Next, we played Doc McStuffin's Help Put Doc Back Together Puzzle Hunt. I bought a 24 piece Doc McStuffins puzzle from… you guessed it... the dollar store and separated the pieces into six groups of four. I put those pieces in a Ziploc and hid them around the backyard. The kids had to hunt around the yard looking for the pieces and once they were found worked as a team to put it together. I really liked this game. (Hint: Write down or remember where you put all of the pieces.) They all won a Jake and the Neverland Pirates magnetic picture frame for their Adventure bags.

The last game we played was another Doc McStuffins game: Pin the Band-Aid on the Band-Aid. This was a variation of a game I found on Pinterest where they pinned a band-aid on Lambie or Stuffy but I didn't have time to make a character so I used something from - drum roll, please - the dollar store. With the kids blindfolded, they had to stick a band-aid on the band-aid puzzle piece. The prizes for this game was a Disney pen and flashlight. (Did I mention how much I love that dollar store?!)

Having both the Snow White Apple Station and the Ice Cream Station worked out well since I was able to use the same toppings for both: marshmallows, shaved coconut, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, caramel, dulce de leche, chocolate frosting. And these pumpkin cookies my sister made were To. Die. For. 

And of course… 

The Princess with her Princess Cake

And after all of that our Princess was pooped.

Just kidding. She wasn't sleeping. She was hiding candy.

This was a special birthday for us but perhaps my favorite moment was when Rafaella changed into her Princess Belle dress and came out to everyone singing Happy Birthday. My parents had my sister and I make an entrance to our birthday parties and I remember it fondly - I don't know that my sister felt the same way about it but I lived for it. I didn't plan for Rafaella to make an entrance but it sort of miraculously worked out that way and I couldn't have been happier for the unexpected opportunity. 

Disneyly yours,

The Planning Crew,

You are welcome to use, share, pin, tweet materials from our Disney party but please link back to this post.

This Dominican Dictionary is la Vaina!

Quick Link: Dominican Dictionary

Today I'm writing over at the fabulous Women Who Live on Rocks about the

DOMINICAN DICTIONARY

Since any place you visit will have its own cultural dictionary, I decided to school you on the terms you MUST know if visiting this funny, charismatic rock, words that when I got there threw me for a what-did-you-say loop. This is serious business (which is why it is bolded and in large, pink print) because without these terms you will be super frustrated in DR trying to figure out what the heck they're talking about. These aren't your run of the mill 101 terms - the basic words of all languages like hola or gracias or baño - these are the lingo, the real talk, the words that will unlock a piece of real culture.

Click to read the rest of Dominican Dictionary

Tragic with a Side of Guillotine: A Milestone

"You could cut his hair short on the sides and keep the top long and style it up." 

"And then I could just move to Brooklyn with my hipster kid too? 

"Heepster? Que es eso?" 

and this was 5 months ago...

This is one variation of the ongoing conversation that I have had with my Cuban mom about getting Santiago's hair cut. If it were up to her she would have taken scissors to his hair months ago giving him a Tom Cruise style cut - Top Gun not Rain Man. Instead she refers to him as Einstein in the mornings due to the height of his hair. Hey it could be worse....

Husband, who went the whole summer not cutting his own hair until he looked slightly Wolverine-ish, obviously wasn't concerned with cutting T's hair. He was in my corner. Then, recently when we were talking over Skype he dropped the bomb, "Maybe we should cut his hair."

Et tu, Brute?

Betrayed by Brute and alone on my limb, I've held on to T's lovely, little, sweet-smelling head of light brown curls like a woman in the middle of rushing Class IV rapids. Why can't I let this ship sail?

I thought back to Rafa's first haircut. This, like that, is a major milestone but somehow it's different. It's harder this time. I thought back further. When I was pregnant with Rafa I had one dream of what she looked like. Beautifully round little face, big brown dancing eyes, and sparkly earrings. I remembered the earrings clearly. I had one of those dreams about Santiago too. Just one. And you know what stood out the most in that dream? You guessed it, his hair. The exact color it is now, long and wavy like a beach bum. Hmmmm... If I were a therapist, I'd say I was on to something.

Could it be that his hair is what I identify his babyness to and without it, he's no longer a baby but a (gulp) big kid? Oh, say it ain't so. If he's no longer a baby but a big kid then that means I don't have anymore babies - which oddly sends a current of excitement through my body at the same time as it sends a very sad one. It sounds so tragic, I know, but his hair is one of the last things that stands between being a mom of a baby and not and I'm sad about it. So I keep putting off cutting his hair until he looks like Einstein or is as old as him.

I know what comes next... the guillotine must drop...and soon because we leave for Dominican Republic in two weeks. Sometimes, I just wish that I could be more like one of those not-so-emotional moms, whose heart doesn't break over every thing.