Soccer is not good for your healthRight before the USA/Germany match the other day, I posted this to Facebook but what I want you to pay special close attention to is the first comment I received after my post.
|"You guys ready for the 90 minute anxiety attack?? USA!!"|
Women who have had babies should be VERY careful when watching el fútbol
"We are the World" is not just a song performed by USA for AfricaIt is awesomefying seeing so many people around the GLOBE get so passioned about something that has zero to do with guns, wars, or money - even if one idiot thinks it is all a scam to take away attention from Benghazi, a thought so stupid I can't even understand the logic behind it. Can we just make this a month where we all forget that we want to kill each other and enjoy a game where we just bite each other?
Pretty boys aren't just pretty facesDamn it, Ronaldo. I've heard your name thrown around for the last few years and will be honest. I set out to not like you. You're so cute. And so talented. And so rich. Damn you. And then I started to take notice of some of the stories I heard about you. Nice stories. Good deed stories. You are not just another pretty face that plays soccer like a Greek God with a Maverick-ish gorgeous smile and chiseled arms. You are much more. I judged you too soon, hot #7. I apologize. So what if you take your shirt off and throw it into a crowd... I'll let that slide. Actually, I'm totally fine with that.
Fútbolistas have great(!) namesIf I have a third child and he's a boy I have a few names already in the running thanks to soccer players:
1. Alexi (Alexi Lalas) - The name is SO bad ass that even while it sounds feminine it's BAD ASS. Word, Alexi.
2. Leo (Leonel Messi) - I know his name is LIOnel but I like it spelled better with the E. My hypothetical bay, my choice.
3. Teeth (Luis Suarez) - just kidding
4. Santiago (so I could scream SantiaGOOOOOOAL) - Oh wait. I have a son named Santiago already and I've penned this as his soccer nickname so don't be stealing it, bitches.
New Jersey is awesome.Tim Howard.
Josmer "Jozy" Altidore
Why Messi is better than Ronaldo, Ronaldo is better than Messi, and no one is better than...Let's face it. If you think Messi is the better player you will find clear cut reasons to pinpoint Messi as the better soccer player. If you think Ronaldo reigns, you too can find solid reasons to pinpoint why Ronaldo is the better player. But why do we find it necessary to pit athletes against each other? Especially when we all know that neither is better than Pele.
(Disclaimer: While I delight in using the phrase "finish him" I do not condone Sensei's implementation of dirty tricks aka "sweep the leg")
speaking of dirty tricks...
The real take away I took from "The Suarez Attack"(Suarez's version of "sweep the leg")Ok, so the actual biting didn't actually teach me anything but we've got to talk about it, right? Because biting... really? From a grown man? My son (who is one) was biting his sister when he was angry that she took his ball from him... did I mention he's ONE. After giving him my own yellow cards a few times, now he's taken a different approach. When he is angry, he still flexes his chompers but chooses to pretend-bite his hand or the couch or another ball and not other people because biting other people to get your way is representative of mental behavior... or vampires. Neither of which is good. If my one year old soon has learned this... you know where I'm going with this, yes?
BUT here's HOW Fifa's handling of "The Suarez Attack" did teach me something. It taught me that we have to give REAL consequences. If I allowed my ONE-YEAR-OLD to continue biting his sister, guess what, he would still be feasting on her daily. If this
Moves like Müller
When we were watching Germany play USA the other day, Husband commented on how Germany was on the attack and we were, well to say it nicely, a little relaxed. I said, "See... that's why I like the Germans. Did Ivan Drago want to just box Rocky Balboa? No. He wanted to crush Rockey Balboa, to 'break' him. And that's how the Germans play." And then I realized Ivan Drago was Russian not German. Oops. Forget that analogy. But I still had a point. The Germans have been kicking ass and taking names and they play like every game like their lives are on the line. You gotta respect that.
U.S. spells "us"Has anyone else noticed this? That U.S. without the periods, in fact, spells "us." So I can walk around saying that I want "us" to win and it is the same as saying I want the U.S. to win. I know. I'm brilliant. You're welcome.
I Believe that We Will WinI love believing. Ask Santa Claus... and Jesus. I am a believer. Give me something to believe in and, wholeheartedly, I will. You won't find a more loyal believer anywhere. So thank you, World Cup 2014 for giving me something to believe in.
Now, let's go US!
World Cup Take aways - Gabriel Smith
Finish Him - Meme Generator