Drinking the Whole Bottle: The Most Interesting Advice in the World

Husband often tells me that I am a marketer's dream.

Nice packaging? I'm sold.
Bright colors with pretty font? Taking out my monies as. we. speak.

But there is one ad campaign that I believe to be far better than any ad campaign ever created and that is the Dos Equis Campaign of The Most Interesting Man in the World. I will assume you all know him since, after all, he is the MIMW but in case you don't, here's an introduction.

Let's review. While telling us how amazing he is we see him playing handball like a boss, not just reading hieroglyphics but telling a joke in hieroglyphics, not just flying some sort of glider plane but being lead bird in V bird formation, and riding on top of a train in some far off, undisclosed location, being charismatic while stitching a portrait of a beautiful Indian woman. Now, let's be honest... don't you want to be him? I pride myself on being a strong woman, a feminist, if you will, but this guy makes me wish I was a man. Well, not all men - just this man - which is what the campaign is all about so I think they met their objective: make men (and this woman) want to be so much like The Most Interesting Man in the World that they purchase Dos Equis to be, well, like The Most Interesting Man in the World, or at the very least, more interesting.

Is it coincidence or fate that a blogger who's blog title is Drinking the Whole Bottle believes a beer ad is the greatest campaign ever created? Or that The Most Ineresting Man in the World's advice sounds strangely as ridiculous as Legra's Laws? Could we be soulmates? I don't know. What I do know is that I wouldn't choose anyone other than MIMW to be DTWB's ~~mascot~~ mancot and so I thought it was about time to spotlight a man/myth/legend who can probably drink (more than) the whole bottle.

"After drinking the whole bottle, the bottle passed out."

In honor of The Most Interesting Man in the World, I've rounded up the best advice that his beard has been kind enough to impart. In order, here is The Most Interesting Advice in the World. Here we go:

#5 Advice on self defense:

"The right look should suffice."

Teachers and parents know this to be true all too well. It just takes "the look" to let someone know you mean business. Ask my kids. Better yet, ask every student I ever taught. Every. One. They'll tell you that when I gave that look, they should proceed with extreme caution.

#4 Advice on umbrella drinks:

"Unless your drink is expecting rain, you should probably reconsider."

I am a fan of umbrella drinks but I'm dramatic, sassy, and like things that sparkle so I gotta say that my verdict is still out on guys with umbrella drinks. I don't really have a problem with it but I could see where MIMW is coming from on this one.

#3 Advice on the Two Party System:

"The after party is the one you want to attend."

I know this to be true because it is the advice I would have given when I was in my 20's and probably more interesting and less smart because I didn't have kids or responsibilities so I wasn't tired all of the time and if I was tired I'd go out anyway because I could sleep in tomorrow until 2pm if I wanted to and so I went out waaaay more and thus did more interesty things. Now, this is the complete opposite of what I'd say unless the after party means hitting the sheets and not in a sexy way - in a drooling way... and that's certainly not winning me and Most Interesting Woman in the World awards, is it?

#2 Advice on Packages:

"Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pocket, you better use them to call a tailor."

Just yes. Yes. I like a slim fit but not if I could see your junk. Ewww. Keep that between you and the privacy of your home. I would also add though that the Most Interesting Man in the World should mention the fellas wearing their pants around their ass cheeks. I find this even more inappropriate then the outline of junk.

And #1... Advice on The Gym:

"Running in place will never get you the same results as running from a lion."

Did you laugh so hard that you spit beer from your nose? I can't. I find this one too funny. Yes, I bet running from a lion would get me pretty motivated; so would running from a bear, a crocodile, or a swarm of bees. Motivated, indeed. Get-a-running.